Well at least I fuck up pretty nicely

there are certain things no one speaks of
but I feel I should

***

my eating disorder is killing me, it’s ruining my life and it’s oh so pathetic because i’m not even acceptably thin to have an ED
and I desperately need someone to talk to about that and NO ONE ever listens and NO ONE ever takes me seriously and NO ONE ever cares
life is slowly taken away from me, pieces of time that I NEVER get to have returned to me, because time waits for no man and you only have this moment and all that kind of crap, which I honestly don’t need when I’m already in this much suffering. life DOES slowly go, every single time I get submerged in that twisted observation of my sick mind, that, you see, I failed in my attempts to be perfect by, I have honestly NO IDEA what standards
people seem to lack the understanding that it is a disorder, like every other disorder, and I really wish I was making up all that stuff and be dramatizing but I really am not

and that makes me quite desperate and, simply, sad

#промивка на мозъци
#неща, от които ми се иска някой да ме беше предпазил
#неща, които знам, че звучат абсурдно. oh well