Well at least I fuck up pretty nicely

there are certain things no one speaks of
but I feel I should

***

my eating disorder is killing me, it’s ruining my life and it’s oh so pathetic because i’m not even acceptably thin to have an ED
and I desperately need someone to talk to about that and NO ONE ever listens and NO ONE ever takes me seriously and NO ONE ever cares
life is slowly taken away from me, pieces of time that I NEVER get to have returned to me, because time waits for no man and you only have this moment and all that kind of crap, which I honestly don’t need when I’m already in this much suffering. life DOES slowly go, every single time I get submerged in that twisted observation of my sick mind, that, you see, I failed in my attempts to be perfect by, I have honestly NO IDEA what standards
people seem to lack the understanding that it is a disorder, like every other disorder, and I really wish I was making up all that stuff and be dramatizing but I really am not

and that makes me quite desperate and, simply, sad

#промивка на мозъци
#неща, от които ми се иска някой да ме беше предпазил
#неща, които знам, че звучат абсурдно. oh well

3 thoughts on “Well at least I fuck up pretty nicely

  1. i’m not sure if i should “like” this post, so i won’t. what i do “like” is that you had the guts to share it. just remember that you are NEVER alone in how you feel, there are so many people out there with similar problems. i know we don’t know each other, but i just had to comment because you seem like an amazing person from what i see in your blog and it makes me sad that you are sad. remember, you are strong enough to get through anything, you are worthy and wonderful. mental disorders are SO misunderstood and that’s not fair. but in a way, having to cope with one makes you that much more special and stronger than the people who can’t even imagine what it’s like. hold on to the good things and never let yourself be judged by any other standards than your own. i know this is a long and weird comment, but i wanted to let you know how much your words touch me.

    • благодаря от сърце! made my night/day
      тези думи ме карат да съжалявам, че не се познаваме

      • и аз ти благодаря. чувството е напълно споделено. alex_sim@abv.bg ми е мейла и фейсбука, ако искаш ми пиши (обаче no pressure, ха-ха :Д)

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